


Day 1

by snivellus (queervulcan)



Series: In Between [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Death Eaters, Gen, Misgendering, Slurs, Trans Character, Transgender Snape, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7670473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queervulcan/pseuds/snivellus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of tumblr's trans Snape week, one post a day for a week</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> Courtesy of http://sneepsnape.tumblr.com/post/148328702291/trans-snape-week-day-1

It was utterly humiliating.

It was burning under his chest, sharp and quick and _hot_. He dug his nails into his palms, his long fingers curling around his wand until his knuckles were bone white and the wand creaked. 

He wanted to _die_. He wanted to _kill_ James bloody Potter. 

But mostly, he wanted to cry. 

He didn’t know why he had said that dreaded word, that ugly, twisted, vile word. 

_Mudblood_. 

Even as he thought it to himself, chewed it around his molars and spat it out like tobacco, a shiver of delight went down his spine. 

Because Lily Evans and Death Eaters were the only ones to ever see him for who he was. 

Even his mother tended to revert to _darling_ , to _she_ , to _my little girl_ , when she was particularly stressed, when his father’s words cut a little sharper, when the blows were a bit harder, and there was a sharp line between her brows, a longer dip in her frown. 

But now, the Marauders had outed him. They had shown the school what a freak he was, as was his father’s favorite description of him, _that freaky daughter_. 

He could feel the walls of Hogwarts falling into him, could feel his breath in his esophagus; quick and sharp and each one so very painful. 

The entire school was outside, laughing at his misfortune, laughing with those bloody Gryffindors, laughing at _him_ and the dirty grey pants he had nicked from his father to feel more like a boy than a girl. 

Snape rounded the corner to go to Slughorn’s Staircase. 

His robes billowed around him, but there was no point in the flair for dramatics, there was no soul down here, and any that were would be squirreled away in the Common Room to escape the oppressive heat of the castle. 

He was thankful, because he just knew there were tears in his eyes. But his father taught him better than to _cry_. 

Snape’s blood was pounding, his veins were rushing with adrenaline and anger and _fear_. It was roaring in his ears, in his feet, in his fingertips, and the hand he had clutched around his wand started to heat uncomfortably as the wand reacted to his emotions. 

It was a tether, but not the one he needed now. 

What he wanted was Lily Evans forgiveness, and barring that, to become the man his brain knew he was, in name and body and magic.  


He rounded the corner to the Common Room, and determined to do _exactly_ that.


End file.
